OK, so I get this invitation from Jennifer Love Hewitt and it says she’s interested in maybe getting together for dinner.
I’m excited because she’s Jennifer Love Hewitt and I’m me, and I’m flattered and shocked that it’s even a possibility.
However after I calm down and quit pumping my fists, I start reading the fine print on the invitation and discover that she will only go out with men who are rich, handsome and powerful.
So that’s three strikes against me and suddenly I’m hurt that my affections have been toyed with in such a way.
That’s what bowl organizers in places like Shreveport, Boise and Mobile must feel like.
See, the Bowl Championship Series — the organization that claimed a Football Bowl Subdivision playoff was the worst idea ever until it decided it was the best idea ever — has invited all existing bowl cities to submit bids to host the national semifinals in coming years.
The Rose and Sugar bowls will host the first national semifinals, set for Jan. 1, 2015.
The Orange Bowl and bowl yet to be named will host the semifinals in the second year of the playoff.
In the third year it’s wide open and bids are currently being sought.
Wow, a national semifinal at Independence Stadium or Bronco Stadium. How great for the folks in those cities.
“This is about giving as many fans as possible the opportunity to enjoy the new playoff and the other bowls in person,” BCS executive director Bill Hancock said in a statement. “A rotating event means more fans in more places will be able to experience the excitement of the new playoff. Because of the criteria, we don’t expect every bowl to proceed with a bid, but we want to extend an offer to all that are part of the college football bowl tradition.”
Oh yeah, that rich, famous and powerful thing.
One of the main requirements is that a stadium has a minimum seating capacity of 65,000.
Independence Stadium seats 53,000. Bronco Stadium holds 37,000. Mobile is home to Ladd-Peebles Stadium which has room for 40,000 spectators.
Thus the BCS, or whatever it’ll call itself once the four-team playoff is implemented, is Jennifer Love Hewitt and all stadiums with less than 65,000 capacities are me.
And let’s be honest — there are bigger stadiums that have absolutely no chance of getting a semifinal.
I guess this whole charade was just the BCS’s way of pretending to be inclusive after years of being exclusive.
The semifinals will always come down to bidding wars between major media markets located in or near colossal venues. And after the new postseason gets established the criteria will change even more.
Stadiums that want to host will have to get upgrades. In many cases, brand new facilities will have to be built.
In all cases Shreveport, Boise, Mobile and a lengthy list of other bowls and other bowl towns will never, ever be in the conversation.
But, I guess it was nice of the BCS to make all the little bowls feel like they had a chance — kinda like the chance I had with Jennifer Love Hewitt.*
*By the way, that whole Jennifer Love Hewitt thing was just something I made up for the purposes of analogy. If she had actually contacted me I’d be making a much bigger deal out of it.